They Weren't Your Hands
by Ambraya
Summary: While temporarely blind, Kathryn is raped


They Weren't Your Hands

Chakotay was pacing back and forth. He was worried. They had lost contact with the away team some time ago. Last communication they had, Kathryn told him they had just landed…then nothing! That had been over two hours ago.

He hadn't wanted her to go down on the planet, but she was being her usual stubborn self. Why did she have to be that way? All the scans showed no life forms, but plenty of minerals for which they had a desperate need.

As soon as the away team left the shuttle, their life forms had disappeared. A lump was forming in Chakotay's throat. From that info, they really had no idea if there was anyone else on the planet or not. He was afraid for the away team. He tried contacting them again, but there was still no answer.

"Keep scanning, Harry" He nearly shouted it. He took a deep breath knowing he had to calm down. He continued his pacing back and forth.

"We'll find them, Commander!"

"I'd like to find them alive!" _And, then I'll wring her neck! She never listens to me! Stubborn woman!_

Nearly an hour later, they got a signal. The away team was back in the shuttle and had taken off.

"Paris to Voyager"

"Voyager here"

"We need you to beam up the Captain and Lt. Ayala to sick bay. They've both been hurt."

Before Tom could even finish the sentence, the two were beamed to sickbay.

"Paris, as soon as you get back, I want a full report!" He then turned over the bridge to Tuvok.

Chakotay rushed to the turbo lift and headed to sickbay. As he entered, he saw Sam Wildman running a dermal regenerator over Mike's body, but Kathryn and the EMH were no where to be seen.

"They're in the back surgical unit, Commander. And, as soon as Paris gets back, the doc wants him there too. Sorry, but it's not a good idea for you to go back there. She's pretty bad, but I'm sure the doc can fix her."

Chakotay balled up his fist and hit the wall. "Damn, I can't handle much more! That woman is driving me crazy. She never listens! Too stubborn for her own good!"

Mike and Sam looked at each other. They knew how he felt about the Captain. Seems everyone on board knew except maybe the Captain.

"Hold out your hand, Commander. I need to run the regenerator over it."

Chakotay turned and gave her a dark look, but he did hold out his hand for her to fix.

"You only broke two fingers this time, Commander. And, no damage to the wall! You're getting better!"

They heard the whine of the transporter. Materializing was Paris and Baytart. Paris immediately motioned to Chakotay that he needed to go help the doctor. Chakotay nodded his head. Paris hurried to the back, as he knew how badly Kathryn had been hurt.

Baytart stood before Chakotay and proceeded to fill him in, "All our readings were wrong. We thought we were the only ones on the planet, and we thought that there were minerals that we needed. Neither was correct. Once we got down there, we could tell about the minerals, but not about the people. They came out of nowhere and began firing at us. They didn't say a word, no warning at all. I never saw that kind of weapon before in person, but it looked familiar." He stopped to think for a minute before he continued, "You know I'm an Old Earth history buff. Those weapons looked like black powder weapons used in the 17th and 18th century on Earth. However, they were a lot more powerful. One thing for sure, they knew how to use them. We almost didn't get away. They hit the Captain in the head. Tom put her over his shoulder and got her out of there. I hope she'll be okay."

"Thanks for the info. Now go take the next 24 hours off. You need it. Thank you for helping to bring them back. You're dismissed."

"Thank you, Commander" He turned to go, then turned back around, "Commander, if you or the Captain needs anything that I can do, let me know."

Chakotay nodded and turned back to Mike. "Do you have anything to add to that, Mike?"

"No, Baytart explained it well. We didn't have a chance down there. We let our guard down since we felt there was no one or nothing harmful on the planet. I'm sorry, Commander. We tried to protect her." He looked sadly back at the surgical bay. "The EMH and Paris will get her through."

"I know you did your best. You always do, and especially for her."

"She's a good woman and a great Captain. I would lay down my life for her."

"I hope you never have to. Looks like you're finished here. You're off for the next 24 hours as well."

Mike slowly left and headed to the mess hall before going to his quarters.

Chakotay tapped his comm badge, "Chakotay to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here, Commander."

"Let's head out. There's nothing on this planet for us. Have both Harry and Seven run scans. We need supplies, or we'll soon be dead in the water, so to speak!"

"Will do. Tuvok out."

Sam put her hand on Chakotay's shoulder, "Commander, we won't know anything about the Captain for several hours. Why don't you go get something to eat, and then rest a bit. I know you. Soon as she gets out of surgery, you'll want to sit with her. I'll comm you just as soon as she's out. Okay?"

"Okay. The moment she's out! Remember!" He turned and walked reluctantly out of sickbay. Before heading to the mess hall, he made a side trip to the shuttle bay to see how much damage had been done to the shuttle. When he got there, he was surprised to find the hull in perfect condition. Then he headed to the mess hall.

Grabbing a tray, he went through the line picking out a couple of items that he thought he might stomach. At the end of the line, he got some hot tea. Taking his tray he went over to a table by the window. As he was eating, Naomi came up to him.

"Well, look who's here! My very favorite 6 year old!"

"Commander, I'm the only 6 year old on the ship!"

"Naomi, if there were a thousand 6 year olds on this ship, you'd still be my favorite."

"I came to give you a hug!"

"How did you know that's exactly what I need right now?"

"Because the Captain is hurt, and you always need a hug when she's hurting."

"You're right there! So, I'm waiting!"

Naomi fell into his arms giving him just what he needed."

"Thank you, Naomi. That makes me feel much better."

Naomi smiled that special smile of hers that always made the command team melt.

"It's almost time for my music lesson with Ensign Nicoletti. At the next talent show, the Captain said that I could play for all of you."

"I'm looking forward to that."As Naomi started to walk away, she turned around, "Commander, please give the Captain a hug for me!"

"I certainly will. I know that will make her feel much better as well. And, later, you can give her your own hug. I know she likes that!"

After eating, Chakotay headed for the bridge. He wanted to go straight back to sickbay, but he knew the EMH would chase him away. He'd have to wait until he was called.

Tuvok passed command of the bridge to him. Chakotay was relived to hear that Harry and Seven had found a planet three days ahead that showed promise for minerals as well as food stuff. Chakotay hoped they were right.

Chakotay sat in the command chair lost in thought and watched Lt Thompson who was now flying the ship. He couldn't figure out why, but there was something about Thompson that he didn't like. Oh, well. At least he could fly the ship!

Several hours passed and Chakotay was almost dozing when his comm badge beeped, "Lt Wildman to Commander Chakotay"

"Chakotay here."

"She's out of surgery if you want to come by."

By the time Sam had finished telling him, he was already to the turbo lift after nodding to Tuvok to again take the bridge.

Sam wasn't surprised that Chakotay had arrived in record time. When he had left sickbay, she could tell that he was really worried.

"She's right over there, Commander. She's sleeping, and the doctor wants to keep her asleep till tomorrow. I've already moved a chair beside her biobed. If you need anything let me know. The EMH will be in here to see you in a few minutes."

"Thank you, Sam. You're always so kind. I appreciate it. By the way, I had a little visitor while I was in the mess hall. She cheered me up. You know the Captain and I love that little girl of yours." he said as he walked toward the alcove Kathryn was in.

"I know, and she loves both of you. You've both been so kind."

Standing beside Kathryn, he took her hand and whispered, "You have to stop doing this, Kathryn. I really can't take much more. I love you." He squeezed her hand slightly before he sit down. She looked so peaceful. He had been shocked to see both her eyes bandaged.

Several minutes later, Chakotay felt the presence of the EMH. He stood so he could talk to the doc. "How is she?"

"Not good, Commander. Her optic nerves were badly damaged. When she wakes, she is going to be temporarily blind." He saw the look on the Commanders face, "I don't think it will be permanent. I've repaired as much as I can. But, the rest has to heal on it's own. Until it's healed, she won't be able to see much or possibly none at all."

"How long will it take?"

"I honestly don't know. It could be anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. When she wakes, I want you to be here if possible. I have to tell her, and she's going to need you."

Chakotay sat with her most of the night. Finally the EMH sent him off to his quarers, "As I said before, she's going to need you, and you need to be awake when she wakes up. This is going to be a real shock to her!"

After returning to his quarters, Chakotay still had a hard time falling to sleep. What would Kathryn say? What would he say to her? She will be upset that she can't run the ship the way she is use to running it. The whole thing gave him a headache, but he knew that whatever happened, he'd be there for her.

Early the next morning, Chakotay checked in with the bridge crew before heading to sick bay.

"Go be with the Captain, Commander. Everything is under control here. She needs you more." Tuvok said.

Chakotay thought he heard a slight hint of concern in Tuvok's voice. _I don't believe Tuvok is beginning to show feelings! But, he's always had a special thing for Kathryn. _

Entering sickbay, he saw the EMH look up from the padd he was reading. He motioned for Chakotay to come over to Kathryn's biobed with him.

"She's beginning to wake up. Talk with her a minute or two, then I'll need to give her the bad news."

Kathryn tried to open her eyes but couldn't. It scared her. She immediately put her hands up to her eyes and felt the bandages. Why was her eyes bandaged? She felt Chakotay's presence. She always knew when he was near even from the beginning of their trip. Little did she know that he always was aware of her presence as well.

"Chakotay", she was apprehensive, "Why are my eyes bandaged? I need to see to run this ship?"

"The EMH will explain it to you. Everything's going to be all right." He took her hand and held it to reassure her.

The EMH began to speak and told her the problem. When he finished, he asked if she had any questions. "But, they will be alright. I'll soon be able to see?" She asked with panic still in her voice.

He reassured her that all would be well in time. "We can't hurry this, Captain. I repaired the nerves as well as I could. It just takes time. I'll going to dismiss you from sickbay, but I suggest a hypo at night to help you sleep for the next couple of nights anyway. Being blind, even if it is temporary, takes some getting use to. Any more questions?"

"Not right now, I just want to go to my quarters. Chakotay, I'm not ready for the crew to see me yet, so how about a transport?"

Seconds later, they were in her quarters. He led her to the couch.

"How about some coffee, Kathryn?"

"Sounds good to me. You do the honors and help yourself to whatever you want."

He had the coffee put into a larger cup so that she wouldn't spill it. He was tempted to put it in a sippy cup like Naomi had when she was younger. He handed her the coffee then got his tea. Sitting next to her, he asked how she wanted to handle the situation.

They talked for a long while and decided to see if some of the crew would help her during the day for at least a week or two. She could dress herself as she would be wearing her uniforms. She would need someone to help put the pips on, but otherwise, she'd be ok. The person could help her to get to the turbo lift and walk her to the ready room. Things like that. Perhaps in a few days, she could handle most of it alone. She really didn't want someone helping her, so she was determined to get use to the blindness as soon as possible.

Chakotay was amazed that she wasn't showing any self pity, but figured she'd engage in that when she was alone He just wished that he could spend the whole time with her helping. However, he knew she would be depending on him and Tuvok to run the ship as efficiently as possible.

Chakotay informed the crew of Kathryn's condition and asked for volunteers so that he could set up a schedule. Almost all of the crew volunteered. He read the list to Kathryn, so that she could decide the people she wanted. She picked four people: Tal Celes, Mort Herren, Susan Nicoletti and Greg Thompson. Chakotay wasn't surprised at the first three, but Thompson surprised him. He asked Kathryn about Greg.

"My senior year at the academy, I met Greg. He was still in high school, but his father was an Admiral that knew my father well. Admiral Thompson was killed in that terrorist attack you may have heard about in Dallas. So,, when Greg applied for Voyager, I took him immediately. Do you have a problem with him, Chakotay?"

"No, not really. There is just something about him that rubs me the wrong way, but I can't put my finger on it. His record is clean, he does his job. I just don't know what it is, but as long as he treats my Captain well, I'm fine with his helping you. Will keep you out of my hair." He tried to joke but it kind of fell flat.

He scheduled the women for the morning in case Kathryn had any problems dressing. The men had the afternoon, and he arranged with Tuvok for him to have the evenings with her. That way he could make certain that she had a good meal. She could manage to get herself to bed. Although he wouldn't mind undressing her and helping her get ready! (A man could dream, couldn't he?)

The arrangement seemed to work. Kathryn would get dressed, one of the ladies would help her to the mess hall where they'd eat breakfast, and then they would walk her to the ready room. Sometimes she'd have them sort the reports. Once they were sorted, she could put them in a transponder where the machine would actually take over and read them aloud for her.

The men would show up and take her to lunch. Then they would walk with her to any part of the ship that she wanted to go to and then back to the ready room. Chakotay would pick her up later and take her back to her quarters. She would rest a while, and then he would make dinner for them. After dinner, he would read more reports to her or they'd sit and talk. He would usually try to leave her quarters by 2300..

A week after the incident on the planet, Kathryn went to her bathroom and showered. Putting on a sexy nightgown, she headed for bed. She injected herself with one of the mild hypos that the EMH had given her. Her biggest problem was staying awake till all hours of the night. The hypo worked great and soon she was fast asleep.

Kathryn had no idea someone was watching her. When that person realized she was fast asleep, he quietly entered her quarters and proceeded to her bedroom. He stood there for some minutes adjusting to his surroundings. He was in his socks. Quickly taking off his pants, he crawled into her bed. He lay next to her making sure she was still asleep.

Slowly he reached out to her legs and gently moved them apart. He took his time being careful not to wake her. As he moved one of her legs, she softly moaned "Chakotay". That incensed the guy. _I've got to get rid of Chakotay somehow, my love! You are mine and only mine_ he said to himself _Once you have me, you won't want him anyway. I love you!_

He moved over her and gently began running his hands down her body. Her nightgown was already bunched up under her. She began to stir, and he waited a few moments for her to quiet down. _I need you now my love. My penis is rock hard for need of you!_

Suddenly, he moved his penis to her opening and entered her as gently as he could. She moaned Chakotay's name again. As he was pumping into her, he was still running his hands over her body.

Kathryn came to with a start. _No, oh no. This is not Chakotay, those aren't his hands. _Kathryn tried pushing the man away, but he was too intent on finishing what he had started. He was shooting load after load of cum into her, no way he could stop now!

She began screaming. "Chakotay! Chakotay! Help me, please!" She was trying to push the man off her and in the process, the lamp on the night stand was knocked to the floor. He tried covering her mouth, and she bit him.

Chakotay woke.. He heard the noise coming from her bedroom. He jumped out of bed and ran to her door. Using his override, he ran into her quarters and to the bedroom. The man was just getting off Kathryn. Chakotay grabbed him, and they began fighting. Kathryn called for Tuvok to send a security team quickly.

By the time the security team arrived, Chakotay had the guy pinned to the floor. Kathryn called for lights so that Chakotay could see . Greg Thompson, one of the very men she trusted the most on the ship was pinned to the floor. . Sitting on the bed, she was sobbing, "Who is it, Chakotay? Who would do something like this?"

"Thompson" He could say no more.

Chakotay had the security team take him to the brig. He took Kathryn in his arms and tried to calm her. When she began to calm down a bit, he called for a transport to sickbay. As soon as they appeared in sickbay, the EMH was right beside them.

"What happened?

"Lt Thompson got into her quarters and raped her."

"Captain, I need you to lay on one of the biobeds. I'll need to check you over, and Commander, wait in my office." As Chakotay walked to the office, the EMH helped Kathryn onto one of the biobeds.

Chakotay didn't want to leave her side, but he did as he was told. _I should have killed the bastard for doing that to her. How could anyone do something like that?_

It was sometime before the EMH entered his office. Chakotay started to get up. "Commander, sit back down. This is going to take awhile." Chakotay did as he was told.

"She's sleeping. I want her to remain here tonight. You can come and get her in the morning. He bruised her badly. I took care of that and made sure there won't be a baby in nine months." He looked at Chakotay sadly, "She needs you beside her. However, it's going to be difficult. She may have nightmares, and she may not want any male touching her however briefly. Be aware this is going to take a long time. She's already trying to deal with the blindness and now this. She needs those around her to be patient. Why don't you go back to your quarters and try to get some sleep. Do you want a hypo?"

"I'll be alright, doc. Just take care of her!" As he said this, the EMH could see the love for the Captain in Chakotay's eyes and hear it in his voice. He briefly wondered what it felt like to be in love like that.

Chakotay started back to his quarters, then suddenly decided to go to the brig. As he arrived, he saw that Mike Ayala was on duty. He didn't continue on to Thompson's cell, but stopped to talk to Mike."How's the Captain, Chakotay?"

"The bastard raped her, Mike. I'd like to kill him."

"Even though he did that, you know the Captain. She'd never approve of killing him. He's actually safe here. Let him go and someone on this ship would probably do the job. You know how much everyone thinks of the Captain."

"I know. And, I think she's going to need the whole crew's support. On top of it, this blindness isn't helping. What gets me is that she's known him since he was in high school. She trusted him."

"Shows you how some people repays trust."

"Did he have anything on him when you searched him before putting him in the brig."

"As a matter of fact, yes he had one thing on him." He went over to a cabinet and took out a small object, "I haven't really looked at it. It appears to be some kind of a camera." He handed it to Chakotay.

Chakotay turned it on. On the small screen there appeared Kathryn's bed, "What the hell! He was spying on her. Damn!"

"Can you make out where the remote was placed? You need to get it out of there."

"I'll go there now. When I get there, I'll comm you. When I do, you can turn it on again and guide me to the remote. Okay?"

"Okay!"

Chakotay headed for Kathryn's quarters and used his override to get in. He surmised that because Greg was helping Kathryn, he knew the code for the door. While she wasn't in her cabin, he entered it and placed the remote where he wanted it.

Chakotay commed Mike. Mike turned on the camera. "I see you. Ok, looks like it's about seven feet up on the wall across from the bed, and about at the midway point of the bed. Appears that he was looking down at her, good view of the bed."

Opposite the bed was a tall mirror. The frame of the mirror was black and ornate. The camera remote set in it perfectly. No one would ever see it there. Chakotay took it out of the frame. Next thing he wanted to do was to have Tuvok go with him to Thompson's room and search it. He needed to see what else he could find, maybe a log or something.

Less than an hour later, Tuvok and Chakotay entered Thompson's room. As soon as the lights came on, they were both speechless. The walls were covered with pictures of Kathryn, and many of Greg and Kathryn. Greg had been very busy creating fake pictures. Kathryn was in every sexual pose possible, even some that Chakotay didn't think was possible. There was a lot of S&M pictures as well as everyday, ordinary pictures. Some were actual photos of Kathryn taken on some of the shore leaves over the years.

"We can't let her know these even exist!"

"I concur, Commander." Tuvok began taking them down. Chakotay started on another wall. There were hundreds, even the bathroom walls were covered. After they got them down, Chakotay put them in the recycler. While he did this, Tuvok began going through the books and papers that were there. Soon he found a diary. He handed it to Chakotay, "Maybe you can find something in this that may give us a clue to what he was thinking."

"I know what he was thinking. I have a feeling when we are finished here, we need to check his programs on the holodeck. If he did this with pictures, no telling what kind of programs he made."

Tuvok agreed. They went through the entire quarters, finding a lot of smut. Kathryn would have been embarrassed to see it all.

Their next stop was the holodeck. They found only two programs written by Greg. He had improved on both of them hundreds of time. The finished product of both made Chakotay sick to his stomach. Many scenes in the first one were of Kathryn, Greg and two male holo characters. All three of the men not only took turns with Kathryn, but in a couple of scenes, Greg and a holo character was having sex with her at once..

The second program was very much S&M. Kathryn in chains, being beaten, begging for mercy; Kathryn in a strip club stripping to the music with holo characters all around touching her wherever they could. Greg throwing her down on the dance floor taking her while the others cheered him on and waited for their turn.

Chakotay deleted both programs. They searched the data base for any other hidden programs, but couldn't find them.

"You know, Tuvok, killing him is too good for him. But, what are we going to do with him? We can't keep him in the brig for ever as much as I'd like to."

"Maybe we can find a deserted planet and leave him there, but I doubt if we can get the Captain to agree to it. She'd probably forgive him for the rape. And, we can't show her the other things. I concur with you that it would not be in her best interests, or ours, for her to see them. We did the right thing."

Each man in his own way was willing to do anything to protect Kathryn. Both wished that she would take better care of herself, but they knew all to well how she was.

Moments after leaving the holodeck, the EMH called Chakotay to let him know that Kathryn was back in her quarters. Susan was with her. She refused to stay in sickbay any longer and had threatened to delete the EMH's program.

"Sounds like the Captain is beginning to get back to normal, Tuvok." Both men chuckled. Tuvok headed back to the bridge while Chakotay headed for Kathryn's quarters. When he rang the buzzer, Susan quickly came to the door.

"How is she, Susan?"

"Well…you know the Captain! Stubborn as they come!" She laughed.

"Go get something to eat. Take an hour. I need to talk to her. Okay?" Chakotay gave her one of his best smiles. Susan loved those smiles. As she walked away she thought how lucky the Captain was to have Chakotay. Too bad the Captain didn't seem to realize it.

Chakotay walked to the couch where Kathryn was curled up at one end. She looked so tiny sitting that way. He loved her so much. He hated seeing her like that.. He'd do anything to make this mess go away.

"Kathryn?"

She turned towards his voice, "It's my fault you know. I should have known. I missed the signs."

"What signs?"

"I don't know, but there must have been some there."

"Did he try anything with you before?"

"No, nothing. ..I mean, he was nice to me. When we'd be in the turbo lift together, we'd take about out fathers, but nothing out of the ordinary. He didn't touch me or look at me strangely. Oh, Chakotay!"

Suddenly she was crying. He was afraid to take her in his arms…afraid she'd react. But, she needed him. He moved over and touched her shoulder and she winced and slightly pulled away.

"When I became aware of what was happening. I knew it wasn't you, Chakotay. They weren't your hands! And, you would never, never hurt me like that!"

"I want to hold you, Kathryn. I want to help you heal, but I can understand your keeping a distance from me…from all men."

"I just need time….I need my sight back…..I don't know what to do."

"It's going to take time. I'll be here for you. So, will everyone else on this ship. They respect you and like you, Kathryn. The others aren't like him."

"We need to decide what to do with him. I…I don't want him on this ship. I can't bear the thought that he's even on it now. We need to find a place for him."

"We will, but it might take some time to come across a planet that will take him."

They sat quietly, each with their own thoughts. He wanted so much to take her in his arms and hold her until the bad all went away, but for now, all he could really do was to be with her this way.

A few days later, the EMH removed Kathryn's bandages. "Now open your eyes slowly. We need to know how much you can see, but we don't need you straining your eyes either."

"I can see shapes. I see Chakotay standing in front of me, but I know it's him. If it were someone else, I might not know who it was," she spoke slowly, with disappointment in her voice.

As she spoke, the EMH was examining her carefully. "You're sight is coming back. The knitting of the optic nerves is working. Another week should do it. Sorry I have to put these bandages back on. I know how much you dislike them."

"Yes, I dislike them, but I need to be able to see well. I'll resign myself to waiting another week."

Leaving the sickbay, they went to the mess hall. As they passed various crew members, the crew members greeted them. In turn, Kathryn was able to greet most of them by name. She knew the sound of their voices. Chakotay was impressed.

Arriving in the mess hall, they started down the buffet line. Kathryn was able to pick most of her food and get it on the plate. "Pretty good selection today, Chakotay. I know what most of it smells like."

"You know, Kathryn, you're the most un-blind blind person I've ever met. You're doing great getting around the ship pretty much on your own, You're doing so much for yourself.'

"I'm also learning a lot more about our crew. Believe me Sam, Susan and Mort know all the latest gossip and much about the crew members' past that isn't in our records. I'm amazed."

They sit down at their table in the corner by the windows. "Oh, what do they say about me?"

" The ladies thinks you'd be quite the catch. You're smart, easy on the eyes and very kind."

"Oh, so what do you think, Kathryn?"

"The same…" Just as she was about to say more, Paris came up to them and slapped Chakotay on the back.

"Just the guy I need to talk to," He looked at Chakotay and mouthed the word "Thompson".

"Captain, how about if Naomi walks you back to the Ready Room. I need to discuss something with Chakotay while Belanna isn't around."

Chakotay motioned for Naomi to come where they were standing. When she did, she agreed happily to see that her very favorite Captain got back to the Ready Room okay. Soon as they took off, Chakotay turned to Paris.

"Chakotay, Tuvok wants us down in the brig. Thompson just committed suicide."

"Let's go."

When they arrived at the brig, Tuvok, Parker, Ayala and the EMH were there. Thompson had hung himself with his sheet. Ayala and Tuvok was cutting him down so that the EMH could pronounce him dead. Parker was shaking as he'd been on duty and found Thompson.

"Parker, you're off duty the next 24 hours. Don't tell anyone about this. An official announcement will be made soon."

Parker nodded his head and nearly ran to the turbo lift, thankful to get away. He'd never seen someone hanging, and he hoped never to again.

Later, Chakotay headed to the Ready Room. He was trying to figure out how to tell Kathryn what had happened. He knew that she'd blame herself. He had to be careful what he said.

Entering the ready room, he went to her desk. Taking her hand, he guided her to the upper level. As she sat, he went to the replicator and got coffee and tea. He went to her and set the coffee and tea down on a small table. He sat down beside her and took her hand.

"What is it Chakotay? Something bad has happened? Hasn't it?"

"There's no other way to tell you. Kathryn, Thompson committed suicide. I'm sorry to have to tell you."

She let out a small cry and raised her hand to her mouth sobbing. "It's my fault!"

"No, Kathryn, there is no way it could be your fault. He made the decision to rape you, and he made the decision to kill himself."

"I know, but it still doesn't make me feel better. I'm sorry! He had such promise."

"Out here is a lot different that at Starfleet, as we both know. Look, I want to make the announcement. We're a day away from a planet that we wanted to inquire about leaving him. Do you want us to wait and bury him there or shoot him out into space?"

"His father chose to be shot into space. I think Greg would have liked that. And, yes, I need you to make the announcement. I can't do it."

He stood and looked out the window at the passing planets. "Computer open all frequencies." He then proceeded to make the announcement.

He sat back down, and she scooted over against him, "Chakotay, would it be okay if you put your arm around me?"

"Are you sure, Kathryn? I don't want to push."

"I'm sure. Nothing more, just your arm around me for a few minutes. I want to feel safe."

Chakotay slowly put his arm around her and held her close. "It's okay, Kathryn, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."

Three days later, when the EMH removed Kathryn's bandages, she would see clearly.

"Good, you won't need any more bandages. If you have any problems at all with your sight, come to me right away, Captain!" He then turned to Chakotay, "Commander, just make sure she does!"

"Yes, sir, will do."

They left sickbay and headed to her quarters.

As they entered, she looked at him shyly, "I don't want to sleep here anymore."

"Oh, and where do you want to sleep? He questioned.

"In your quarters, in your bed."

"So you want to trade quarters with me, Kathryn!"

She slapped him on the arm! "No, I don't. I want to sleep in your quarters, in your bed with you. You make me feel so safe. And, in time I want us to be sexually involved. We can't go back and start a new beginning, but we can start today to make a new ending. How can I make that more clearer?"

He was shocked. He had wanted her in his bed for so long. "You've made it clear. So, okay!"

"Okay? That's all you're going to say? Just okay?"

He laughed. "Kathryn, I want you in my bed and in my life forever. I love you!"

"I love you too, Chakotay. I have since I first saw you."

Hand in hand, they walked out of her quarters and into his to begin their new life together.


End file.
